My heart leapt into my chest the moment Nick told me. I struggled to breathe knowing that my past was well and truly about to catch up with me. I knew I wasn’t ready to revisit anything related to Kyle, but if I didn’t get it over and done with they could very well call my bluff and force me back to Australia. The one thing I knew for sure, if I returned...it wouldn’t be as easy to escape the second time around.
“Nick, Show them up. Please stay with me though. No matter what happens, I need you to be there.” I responded, my voice cracking beneath the pressure.
“Of course Miss. Reid. I’ll make them give you five minutes and we will be up. Please don’t answer the door to anyone but me.” He responded calmly. Something in his voice told me that there was more that he wasn’t telling me, but I would revisit that another time.
I walked into the bathroom and threw my phone onto the bench. Almost as if on cue it continued the playlist I had been listening to prior to Nick calling. The sound of Lighters by Bad Meets Evil ft. Bruno Mars reverberated around the room, bouncing off the walls and shooting straight through my heart. As I stared at my pale reflection in the mirror, I burst into tears. I watched the salty liquid cascade down my cheeks and felt the weight of the world caress my shoulders while gripping the edge of the basin as tightly as possible. I turned the faucet on cold and ran my fingers through the water as I listened to the lyrics. The moment the chorus struck I splashed water across my face and decided I wasn’t going to hurt anymore.
“If you really want a fresh start, it stars now” I said to myself. I knew what I had to do but it didn’t make things any easier. Stepping away from the mirror, I fluffed my hair and straightened down my dress as I heard the door bell to the suite ring. It seemed like that was the quickest 5 minutes of my life! I walked reluctantly towards the door and looked through the peephole. It was time.
I opened the door and watched the expression on Nick’s face as he realized I had been crying. I had tried to cover it up, but he knew me well enough to know exactly what kind of break down I had just endured.
“Miss. Reid, Thank you for seeing us. I am Federal Agent Tanner Lucas and this is Federal Agent Daniel Rothwell. May we come in?” The look on Nick’s face said it all, I was about to go through hell. As soon as I looked into Agent Lucas’s dark brown eyes I felt like I had seen him before. Something was off, His strong jaw-line and cold hard features were ones that I couldn’t place, but his warm yet hardened eyes were so familiar.
“I don’t have a choice” I said in a small voice as I stepped aside to let the agents in.
“Miss. Reid, we are not here to cause you any further pain. We only want to get to the bottom of what happened to you” said the tall mediterranean Agent Lucas, who was insanely attractive as he walked past me. As much as I wanted to believe it, I knew that I would end up in pain either way. Nick closed the door as I sat down opposite them in the lounge room. I wasn’t going to offer them anything to drink, this wasn’t a comfortable conversation and I didn’t want them to get too comfortable. Nick walked around and stood behind me as agent Rothwell began to speak, placing his hand on my shoulder which instantly reassured me.
“Miss. Reid, do you think it is possible for us to have this conversation alone?” His question made me feel sick to the stomach. I didn’t want Nick to go anywhere. I struggled to breathe at the thought of having to go through this alone.
“I...” I couldn’t even get the words out.
“I can’t leave her, unfortunately you’re stuck with me” Nick was my saving grace. He spoke at the moment I needed him the most.
“I understand that Nick, but you’re a witness as well. We can’t have your statements mixed up. You have to be interviewed separately” The informal tone that Agent Lucas took with Nick caught me off guard. It was almost as though they knew each-other. I would have to ask him about that later.
“Well you can interview me first and then Miss. Reid can give you her statement. This was I can stay with her.” Nick responded with a hint of frustration coursing through his tone.
“How about Agent Rothwell takes your statement, I’ll stay here and have a chat with Miss. Reid. If she still wants you here then I’ll wait till you get back.” Something in their exchange had me completely confused, it wasn’t ugly but there was something they were both either hiding or struggling with and I felt like I was stuck in the middle.
“I don’t think so...” I cut him off before he could finish.
“Please Nick, I just want this over and done with. Maybe with two less bodies in the room I won’t feel so bloody ganged up on” I said a little too venomously.
“If that’s what you want Miss. Reid. Please call me in if you need me” I lifted my hand to his and gave it a squeeze. I had never taken a second to think of all the things that Nick had sacrificed when he agreed to flee the country with me, with no possibility of returning. I never really knew too much about his life outside of work, I planned on fixing that as soon as this was all done.
“I promise” I responded with a hesitant smile. As soon as they left the room I found myself staring at Agent Lucas waiting for the torture to begin.
“Miss. Reid, I know that this isn’t something you would want to revisit so I will make this as quick as possible” The moments the words came out of his mouth I wanted to run. I wanted to scream out to Nick to come back, I wanted the protective bubble back that he placed me in. The only place I had felt safe since the shooting.
“Please call me Antonia” was all I could manage to say.
“Thank you Antonia. I have one request. Seeing as you are currently out of the country, do you mind if I record this?” I felt my heart tighten. What would happen if this got into the wrong hands, what would happen if Kyle ever heard it?
“Do I really have to?” I responded trying not to let my brain go into overdrive.
“You don’t have to but if this goes to trial you will be required to repeat your statement numerous times” he responded. Something about the way he spoke made me think that he was just as uncomfortable as I was. It was almost as though he sympathized with me.
“If it comes to that then I guess that’s what needs to happen” I wasn’t planning on being anywhere they could find me anyway. I planned to reinvent myself and runaway from this nightmare.
“I understand your hesitance Antonia. Please know we are the good guys, we only want to get justice for those who suffered through this ordeal. Can you tell me what you remember?” In an instant the memory of the shooting flashed before me. I could feel the pain consume me and I wanted out. This was the very reason that I refused to see a professional about this. Wasn’t it bad enough that I had to live through it once? After a deep breath, I told him everything that I could remember and ended in tears.
“You are brave Antonia. Not many people could live through that and seem as put together as you do right now”
“You think I’m together?, I’m falling apart at the seams. I am trying my absolute hardest not to make rash decisions or break down. I’m far from together Agent Lucas, I lost my child because of an evil and sadistic person wished to harm my ex-fiancé and I have no idea why!” I yelled. He didn’t flinch, he sat there watching me intently as I bared my soul to him. It was the first time I had admitted what had happened and the world began to crash around me. I felt my body begin to buckle as the weight of my circumstances took hold of me. I slumped to the ground and placed my hands over my eyes to hide the shame I felt. He was up in a flash, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto his lap. Part of me felt as though it was all my fault. If I had’ve had my eyes wide open I would have seen that Kyle wasn’t good for me, he was obviously caught up in things that I had no idea about. So many people had warned me about his other life, the life I was too blinded by love to admit was really there.
“I promise you, we will find the person responsible and make sure that they pay for everything that you have been through Antonia. Nick told me that you were broken but I didn’t realize it was going to be like this. I never expected that you would be so fragile. I’m so sorry” he whispered in my ear. In that moment I felt safe, I felt as though nothing could hurt me. I don’t know what it was about his touch but it soothed me and sickened me at the same time. How could this man possibly know what I was going through? Nonetheless I was thankful for his compassion.
“Can I ask you a question?” I said wiping my tears on the back of my hand and looked into his hardened dark brown eyes.
“Yes”
“How do you know Nick?” The question caught me off guard the moment it leapt into the close space between us. He sighed before pulling away slightly, running his hand through his hair.
“He’s dating my sister Adrienne” It was then that I realized what then tension between them was. She must have been worried sick about Nick. He really had given up a lot to take care of me.
“I had no idea” I said almost too stunned to speak.
“Nick is a very private person, He and Adrienne have been together for years and she is completely bewildered as to why he just up and left. I unfortunately haven’t been able to say anything to her because of my involvement in the case, I haven’t even been able to tell her where he is and every time I ask him to call her or why he just took off he either blows me off or tells me that you need him more. He has always been the most professionally dedicated person I know”
“So you’re telling me that he hasn’t even contacted her to let her know he is okay?” I said angered beyond belief.
“Antonia, please don’t say anything. He is already angry with me for not letting up, but she is my sister. I don’t know what else to do when she is so torn up. The last time she heard from him was just after the shooting” I couldn’t believe it. Why was Nick doing this for me?
“Agent Lucas, Please tell your sister that he is okay? I don’t know why he wouldn’t contact her but she has to know that he is okay at least” I responded feeling horrible.
“No, I can’t tell her that I have seen him or it will destroy her. The fact that I have seen him and yet she isn’t even able to call him and talk for 5 seconds. It will shred her to pieces. They have been together for 4 years and as angry as I am that he has left her not knowing what is happening, I respect the fact that he is here keeping you safe from the people that so obviously want you dead” The second the words left his mouth he jumped up and looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. There was something he wasn’t telling me, and then it hit me...the danger wasn’t over yet.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said launching myself off the floor and in his direction, staring at him with menace in my eyes and ready to throw everything in his direction.
“Antonia, please calm down. We are handling it. You just need to trust Nick” He said backing away from me as I stalked closer to him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell can I not worry about what you have just said. Am I still in danger?” I screamed.
“Please...”
“DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” I spat.
“Antonia, I have already said too much...”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, you fly all the way here, take my statement and drop a line like that and expect me not to react this way. If I am in danger you need to tell me now, I can’t keep living my life like this” I yelled struggling to fight back the reign of tears now blurring my sight. He walked towards me carefully and once again wrapped me in his arms.
“Yes Antonia, you are still very much in danger. The men responsible tore your house apart a few days after you left and destroyed the place. They have terrorized anyone who knows you to find your whereabouts. It doesn’t look as though they will stop until they get what they want”
“When is this going to fucking end” I said, no longer fighting the tears back but pummeling my fists against his rock hard chest. I fought hard against his iron grip but failed miserably, he didn’t budge an inch.
“Antonia, as long as you stay with Nick you will be safe. Do not speak with Kyle Richardson, do not tell him where you are and do not contact anyone you know. We wanted to meet with you to discuss witness protection but after what Nick has told me, I know you will just run away” He wasn’t wrong. There was no way that I was going into witness protection. I knew that those programs were easily found out about and there was no way that I would be able to return to Australia. As my tears began to ease again, I finally realized that his hand was gently rubbing in between my shoulder blades. Something about the situation seemed surreal, somehow I had started an interrogation with hostility and then ended up in the arms of the same man I had begun to despise during questioning. What perplexed me the most was that I felt like I had seen him before, he seemed familiar in some way and yet I couldn’t figure out why. Before I had the chance to ask another question I heard the door click shut and turned around in time to see Kyle standing on the opposite side of the room. Agent Lucas’s arms tightened around me as his chest heaved, taking a deep breath in while mine was caught in my windpipes. Was I really seeing Kyle?
“Tanner you fuck, get your hands off her!” Kyle screamed...It was DEFINITELY him.
“Richardson get the fuck out of here now! NICK, DAVID!” He yelled, the room began to swirl as I saw Kyle walking towards me before the ground slipped out beneath me and the sound of glass shattering surrounded me as I landed on the floor with a heavy thud.
“Antonia, keep your eyes open sweetheart, look at me...Antonia!” Agent Lucas spoke softly in my ear, we were face to face and it was then, looking into his eyes that I realized where I had seen him before as the blackness overtook me and I slipped out of consciousness.
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